What training does someone need to become a mediator?

Most divorce and family mediators have completed a basic 40-hour divorce and family mediation training course. Many mediators apprentice with other mediators or obtain supervision from experienced mediators for a time after they complete their basic training. In addition, mediators generally pursue additional training in the substantive issues of separation and divorce. FamilySolve mediators have extensive training and advanced degrees in law, psychology, and other areas relevant to working with families.

Is a mediated agreement binding?

If you are involved in a divorce or another family issue that is filed in court, any agreement you reach will be filed with the court. If you have a lawyer, you should speak with your lawyer about how this works and what your options are. The court generally reviews the agreement to assure that it conforms to the standards that have been established, such as the child support guidelines and, where it doesn't, looks at what special circumstances exist.

If your dispute is not filed in court, the agreement is usually considered to be a contract. Depending on the nature of the agreement and the dispute, if there is a breach of the contract, you may be able to file a claim with the court. A lawyer can advise you on your particular situation.

Will I need a lawyer in order to use mediation?

At FamilySolve, we recommend that each person consult with an attorney at some point during the mediation process to make sure you fully understand your legal rights.  However, by using mediation, it is likely that you will use fewer legal services and that those you use will be different than if you did not use mediation. A lawyer will provide you with guidance and legal counsel and can draft documents for filing with the court.  Even when the mediator is a lawyer, the mediator is not acting as a lawyer and cannot represent either person in the divorce.

An idea of the fees involved in using mediation AND consulting with a lawyer who is willing to advise you as part of the mediation process can be found on the Fees section of this web site. The fees are generally considerably less than if you just used lawyers to litigate your dispute.

What should I know about a mediator before choosing one?

You should approach hiring a mediator just like you would any other professional, such as a physician, lawyer, or accountant.  Generally, you should obtain the following information:

• Training, experience and background of the mediator;
• Experience or knowledge in mediating the types of issues you have;
• Fees charged and how fees are divided among the parties to the mediation;
• Professional memberships.

Another important consideration is your comfort level with the mediator's style and approach to the process.

Who is present at the mediation?

All people necessary to resolving the issues should be present at the mediation. Decision-makers are key. However, there is no need to have witnesses since the mediator is not a judge and makes no determination or right or wrong. Lawyers are welcome to be present. Some people wish to have others present who aren't directly involved. This must be approved in advance by the others who are directly involved and by the mediator so that there are no surprises.

FAQ'S FOR DIVORCE

If I use mediation, will I need to go to court to get divorced?

If you are divorcing, you will have to file for divorce in the Probate and Family court whether or not you use mediation. However, if you are able to reach a mutually agreeable resolution to all of the property, financial, custody, parenting and other issues that you must resolve, and the court accepts your settlement, it is likely that your court experience will be quite limited. Generally, the more you do outside of the court to decide how you want to handle your divorce, the better.

How long will mediation take and how long are the sessions?

For separation and divorce, it is hard to predict exactly how long your mediation will last.  In general, a couple who must make decisions about both parenting and financial issues may meet with a mediator for three to six sessions.  This, of course, varies depending on how complex the issues are how able the couple is to agree on the decisions that need to be made. 

In addition to meeting with the couple, the mediator will take time to prepare a Memorandum of Understanding, outlining all of the agreements that you have reached through the mediation process.

Generally, mediation sessions are scheduled to last from one and a half to two hours, depending on the couple's needs and available time.  Some couples prefer longer sessions while others find that shorter sessions are more productive.

How often will we meet with the mediator?

At the initial mediation session, you will begin to identify the issues that need to be decided in your particular situation.  What these issues are, how urgent the decisions are, how quickly you are able to gather the required information, and how fast you wish to proceed will determine the schedule you set to meet with the mediator.  Often, two weeks or more may elapse between sessions.  Since mediation averages three to six sessions for couples with children and property, you may meet with the mediator over the course of a month or even several months.  In situations where couples have no children and no property, one or two sessions may be sufficient.

What are some types of agreements that people make during the mediation process?

During mediation, many couples agree that there will be no surprises and that all decisions will be discussed together. For example, no major purchases will be made without the consent of the other person, no withdrawals from or changes to bank accounts or other accounts, no changes to health insurance, and many more. Since informed decision-making is a key to mediation, providing information to each other is critical before making decisions that affect everyone.

Who is present at the mediation session?

You and your spouse will both be present at the mediation session.  The mediator will often choose to speak with each of you privately (and confidentially) at least once during the mediation process and sometimes more often.  On occasion, people choose to include their attorneys in the mediation sessions, or the mediator may ask that the attorneys be present.  Sometimes, older children or teenagers may be present for certain discussions. These choices are made with the mediator(s).

What information must I disclose to my spouse or partner and to the mediator?

All financial information must be disclosed as part of the mediation process.  This information is required by the courts.  The mediator will work with you to determine your income, expenses, assets, liabilities, retirement funds and other financial information that is required as part of a legal divorce. Should information be withheld during the mediation process, any agreement reached may not be valid. 

When is the divorce judgment final?(1)

If the Court sees fit to grant a judgment of divorce after a trial, the marriage will legally end 90 days from that date. If the parties have filed a joint petition for divorce, the divorce will be final four months from the date of the final hearing. After this period is over, the parties are free to remarry and otherwise act as single persons.